Who ever said that two people must be compatible in every way possible before a marriage can work out?
There are marriages I've seen work out though both individuals are very different. To me, the key in making marriages work is dictated by the three C's: Communication, Comprimise and Concern.
On a forum aired on Channel News Asia about more than one month back, Editor Nichloas Fang once said that guys may be put off by ladies because they always strike to be scrutinizing every guy they date (especially on the first date), and making mental ticks on the checklist.
It is common for ladies to have an ideal husband they would like to have, and eventually comes the characteristics associated with that. Sometimes the list seems to be inexhaustible. A study once revealed that the characteristics one looks for in a life partner tend to be closely associated with the image of one's father.
Even though many ladies claim that they only hope their partner treats them well, and is caring and helpful, believe me, there's so much more to that list that may just grow longer each day. More often than not, the partners ladies choose have apparently met made many other ticks than just the three mentioned earlier - though some characteristics are ingrained subconsciously in them.
Here's an example of a typical checklist:
1. Image -
When they say "Image is everything", BELIEVE it! The first 10-20 secs is all she needs to sum you up, and decide if you're thrown into the 'Potential' list or the Cold Palace.
2. Confidence -
Guys are said to like ladies who exude confidence which makes them unbearably attractive. Well, the same applies to ladies. Many friends revealed that they like guys who look confident and comfortable in their skin - their stide, the way they talk and present themselves - and the eye contact. One of my friend once told me that she like guys whose eyes sparkle - well, apparently to her.
3. Family background -
As much as you want to insist that you're the one dating her and not your family, but ladies do care about your family background.
4. Religion -
Yes to some, and no to others. It's pretty subjective.
5. Character -
Yes, the inside counts - but they will only be able to see that after a period of time. You got to pass the first test - Your image!
Hence, as the checklist is designed based on one's educational, economical, societal status, character and other what-not intricate details, one have a higher tendancy of eventually settling for a life partner who's highly compatible.
But hey, opposites attract right? Who's to say 'I'm not supposed to fall in love with him/her?'.
However, people of the past tend to be oblivious to this fact by coming up with a brilliant idea called "Arranged Marriage".
I have heard of people who submitted to their parents' orders and married someone they have only first met on their marriage day. Some made the marriage work, and revealed that they eventually fell in love with their husbands. Some marriages failed.
But do not be surprised, as arranged marriages are still practiced in today's modern society, encrusted in several nooks and corners of the earth so rooted that it may take several decades down for it to slowly bid goodbye to this world.
Arranged marriages remains in practice in Singapore's Indian society, as revealed by Channel News Asia Get Rea! programme. The rules are slightly laxed thought, as compared to the past. Now, the couples paired up are allowed to meet in a public place to chat and see if the partner picked out suits him or her. If yes, wedding plans will kick into action. If no, another partner will be picked again.
Tell that to the youths and adults of today, and they'll probably rubbish the idea right in your face. Force them? There'll not be any runaway brides, don't worry, because they will run away immediately - not on the wedding day.
But there are some who voluntarily opt for arranged marriages as they strongly believe in being compatible in level of education, income level and societal status as their partner. Such is in the case of Jasmit Johal, who found her Mr. Right through a matrimonial website (www.shaadi.com) where applicants can filter matches from job type and income right down to the the desired height and car they own. She revealed that she had a very pleasant meeting as he was everything she'd hoped for.
Is arranged marriage for you? You decide.
Labels: General Affairs
